Mixed Up With Me

Sallie (00:16)
Hello and welcome to Twin Study After Dark. Not Friday feedback, just Twin Study After Dark. Like a regular ass episode. Just a regular ass episode. That’s right. So today I have something exciting for us. Wait, we didn’t introduce ourselves. Well, I’m Sallie. I’m your host Sallie. And I’m your other host Katie. Okay, you’re right. I look so greasy. I’ve been up since 3 a I’m so sweaty right now. I’m not sweaty, I’m just…

I need to take a shower. We both need a shower. We’ve been running around with the kids and Sallie went on a plane today. She flew back from Pittsburgh area. I’m so greasy and love to Pittsburgh. I had never been there and it was actually so beautiful. Like really hilly, really green this time of year. I’m, I’m, we’re such Florida girls. I have to be honest. Yeah. I’m not like.

a northern person anymore. Like I really like miss the warm weather, but like my eyes are, my God, I’m so cold. I’m just so, yeah. I think now we’re like such Florida people. I think we were always Florida people that unfortunately were raised in the Midwest. Not even necessarily Florida, because I would say I love the desert the most. No, but like Arizona people, we need to be in warm weather with like…

Less clothing, clothing, exactly. Like totally. We do not like the rain and the like gray skies. We don’t do well with it. We’ve said that before. Yeah. And I can only say Pittsburgh, super nice people, really cool city, really beautiful city. But the cold is not for me. Yeah. Yeah. And so yeah, that’s it. That’s that. So anyway.

I have a surprise for us today because I’ve been telling everyone that we will be having guests join our podcast in June and I’m super excited for all of them. But I thought what better way to get into the interview spirit than interview each other. Would that be fun? I mean, I’d be curious to know if there’s anything we don’t know about each other. So that is why I have this handy dandy game that I stole from Katie’s closet.

With her I’ve played it with my current boyfriend boyfriend Yeah, and it’s really funny because I think it’s called let’s get deep or something Well scandalous It’s like removing items of clothing. No, it’s not it’s not like that, but that would be funny. That would be funny It says ages 17 up two players 30 to 90 minutes. Yeah, well, you’d have to be really it’s so funny to think that people

when you’re young, you would need a game to remove items of clothing. Cause now you just take them off. I was like, can you just please take them off? And I’m not doing it myself. You can do it. So, okay. Let’s get, maybe that’s just me cause I’m lazy. Okay. So level one is icebreaker. No need for that. Level two deep and level three is deeper. so, okay. I wonder if like we should almost ask it and I should have to answer and think what your answer would be.

to see if it’s – to like reverse it? Yes. Or if you, if I ask you a question and like, I think I know the answer, can I say it? Yeah. And then you can say it. But maybe, I don’t know. Yeah, I don’t know how to do this. But not for every question, but like I might just – I don’t know how to make this. So as you can tell – So do you want to start on the deep or the deeper? I mean, we’re twins. I think we should start at least deep. Deep, for sure. I’d be curious though, like if the – Like what if we don’t know the – What if we don’t even know the basic ones? I say –

Icebreakers that would be so weird. Maybe ask one icebreaker. Okay, so I’m shuffling them. Okay, and An icebreaker went first. It says icebreaker. Okay, these are stupid. Okay, so maybe not stupid we can take passes I think okay, but this is an example of an icebreaker Would you rather your partner help with the dishes or help with the laundry?

Laundry. Yeah, I already knew that for you. I think if I could hire somebody just to do the laundry, Katie could hire. Okay, so but that okay. So by the way, I used to say when I was dating and like in the dating realm, the only way I’m going to actually date somebody like more than like casually is if that person can offer me something I can’t pay for because because.

I do. She pays because there’s so many things that like I’d be like, it’s so nice that they do this, but I could pay somebody to do that. Like, it’s like, they cleaned my car or they mowed the lawn or they how dirty. Okay.

I’m just saying when I finally found the person I’m dating and like anybody it’s because he does something, he does stuff for me that I couldn’t pay for which is like understands my soul. Okay. Okay. Also if I could pay everybody to do something like I would have everything taken care of. Okay. We’re gonna move on. Okay. So, okay. I’m gonna start with a deep question. We’re gonna start with deep.

Not deeper because I don’t know if we’re there yet. So I’m gonna ask the first question, can you ask the second one? Okay. What’s something that you know way too much about?

I mean, is that possible to do too much about anything? Okay, well, what is something that you think you know too much? I mean, Katie, think of it. Like, think of what you do every day. Paint. You know a lot about paint. I know a lot about paint. Yeah, like, I don’t know the things you know about paint. Yeah. Katie knows a lot about paint. So, like, for an example, first of all, that’s her job, like, to take care of that kind of stuff. But second of all, one time I picked up a gray color to paint my kitchen island.

And you know, gray is gray. Like I’m like, gray is gray. Like there’s only one gray. Anyway, I painted my kitchen island and it came out looking green. And she was like, Sallie, there’s like over a hundred different kinds of gray. Yeah, you’re like, why would you choose that? It doesn’t go with this. And it’ll, she knew everything there was to know. So she had, I had to take her back to the paint store to find the shade of gray that would match like perfectly with my.

Lighting that came in through the windows and the cabinets and the floors because the the shade I picked even though it looked like plain -ass gray to me Turned out looking green. Well, the thing is when you know too much about paint everybody else always Tries to challenge you. no, I don’t have to challenge you But I’m just saying like everybody else is like no, that’s not the color This is the color you have to do so much to prove it out and you’re like, let’s just paint the wall and you’ll see

And then it’s always just like, you have to think of it from the terms of, like I said, like the lighting. It’s a big picture. Everything impacts the color. But like it is funny because everybody tries to challenge you on it and you’re like, let’s just paint it and we’ll see. And then you just get this like dopamine hit when you’re like, I was right. Yes. So that is the answer. You know, way too much about paint. Okay. Your turn to ask a question. You can either start with it. Let’s start with another deep one, but deep one. Okay. I’m pulling these at random, so we don’t know what this is going to be.

this is so funny. Really? What’s the worst experience you’ve had while traveling? interesting. That’s so funny because I just she just traveled. That seems like meant to be. That’s interesting. OK, that’s a really hard question, though. I mean, one one time back when I was like in my 20s, I did spend the night at the Detroit airport and I look back at it now because now if my flight got canceled, I’d go book a hotel.

Right, you just slept in the airport. I literally was so stupid. I didn’t even know to book a hotel. I just was like, I guess I’m going to sleep on the airport floor. That’s crazy. That’s crazy, right? But there was another man doing it at the same time next to me. do you do you? What is that quote from? He was ex -military. He probably was like, this is like this is fine. I’m not conditioned. Now I’m like, that’s weird. I would. And that wasn’t like pleasant, but it wasn’t terrible either.

What is that quote from Schitt’s Creek where he’s like, I slept in a cab of a truck and she’s like, my God, David, who hasn’t? Who hasn’t? No, I have slept a lot of places. Yeah. And I’ve done like hitchhiking and stuff like when I was in China. But I, I. You hitchhiked in China? Yeah, but I, to the Great Wall of China, to, cause the Great Wall of China goes across China and we wanted to go to a part of it that was like deserted and not forested. Yeah. And we literally hitchhiked. And I would say that.

my gosh. Like that would scare people, but it was so amazing and thrilling and fun and everyone was so nice. So that was when in my younger years. So you’re saying if your children wanted to hitchhike. No, I would kill them. I would kill them. Okay. No, I wouldn’t kill them. But you’d be like, you’re going to die. I’m going to come one way or the other. I will take you there. I will drive you. Yeah. Okay. So let me ask you another question. Another deep one.

Name a healthy activity you wish you did more of. Anything? Yeah, no, I mean, I do a 5K once a month just to remind myself that my body still works. Okay, well, would you do more 5Ks if you could? You know what? It’s honestly the… No.

priorities are so different. I don’t even you know, when I first started running, it was really because when I first started running, I had an eating disorder. So I was just running to burn calories. And then when I started running again, as an adult, it was really just to like get out of motion. And like I was feeling so much I wanted to run it out of me. And now whenever my 5k comes up, I’m like, I do not even want to do this like run in circles because the pads are nearly that fun. Maybe I need to go further.

But like some of the five caves I do, we’re like running around a lake and I’m like, well, that’s not very far. No, I think if anything, OK, one I would really enjoy doing and I would never complain about it because I thoroughly enjoy it. It’s just hard to find in Florida is hike. Like I need to go to mountains more and hike. Like if I could do that more on a regular basis, that would make me imagine if you did that once a month, like how happy I’d be so happy. Yeah, because it just fills your soul. Totally. OK, here you go.

all right. Are we in deeper? Are we still in? No, we’re doing one more deep at least. Okay. Deep, deep. Okay. But and then like once we go to deeper, I think we should try. Wow. Yours. This is gonna if we get a third one on travel, then I think this is a sign because Sallie and I always say signs come in threes. And I and I told her I didn’t really want to talk about my travel. Yeah. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you pick? Arizona, Arizona. Both of us, if they could just make some theme parks in Arizona, I’d be on.

it’s just so far away from our family because our families on the East Coast, you know, East side of the United States. But Arizona, Adam and I are definitely retiring. You couldn’t get me like a mother in law suite or you know, it’s so funny because I have visions of our life in the future and I don’t even envision like a full house there. I literally envision like a condo with big windows like looking over a mountain. Yeah. So I yeah, we’re definitely the type of people that don’t need a lot if we have the visual to look at.

You know, if I can step outside my door with like my dog and Adam and like go hiking during the day and then like come back home, like light a fire, totally like have a good bottle of wine. That sounds like the perfect retirement to me. Yeah, I feel like that too. Sedona, I’m coming for you. man, take me with you. All right. I hope you’re alive then.

Because you don’t exercise. my god. I’m gonna be one of those people that they’re like, I don’t get why she’s so healthy. Why’d she live forever? She drank a bottle of wine every day. Okay. So, all right, wait, this is icebreaker. that was actually one I already asked you. Why are you putting the cards back in the box? okay. Well, just ignore him. Okay. So should I go deeper? Should we go deeper? Let’s do it.

Okay, this is a deeper question. Do you think we’re learning anything about interviewing people by doing this? Learning to pause and listen is a big deal for us. true. Okay. Do you consider yourself to be more emotional or more logical and why? Can I think? You want to say what you feel about me? Is that the problem? I’m really curious to hear what you have to say. I think you are born more emotional than the average bear. The bear?

the more emotional than the average bear person. But I think that you’ve trained yourself to come across in a logical way in the right scenarios. But I think that you actually are highly, I would say you’re way more emotional than logical. And like, it’s really you’ve had to train yourself to like not follow your heart so much and like, kind of think like head first, like brain first. Yeah, instinctually, I go with my feelings. But

not so much anymore. It’s actually kind of sad. It’s because when you think about it, I think and because yeah, like I followed my heart in a lot of ways and it’s burned me. So now I think I’m more like, yeah, I’ve put some walls up. Yeah, I know you kind of like rely more on logic or at least you at least give it a chance to I just don’t know. So it’s almost like I’m jaded but it’s like

I used to have rose colored glasses on and romanticize everything. Like I was literally in a romantic movie and you know, like I’d visualize it that way. Like the meet queue and like our relationship and how it was going to be. And now I’m just more like, I would even assume work though. Like how you go into projects is probably so much more logical now. So much different first started with your company. Like where you are like idealizing all these things and then.

a couple years in, you kind of learn like, okay, these are the rules I have to follow. Yeah, for sure. You just become, I don’t know. I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I think it’s a good thing because it’s wisdom. It’s wisdom. Exactly. That’s what it is. It’s like with years of experience, that’s something. And that’s why when people say like, I have so many years of experience and like the people, like the younger generation that wants to move up in the company real fast, years of experience to me really does matter because,

That is, you can’t learn some of those things without the time. You just have to put in the time. Yeah, exactly. Okay. So let’s see. So I need a deeper question. And if you want to attempt to answer it, did I answer it pretty good for you? I think you did. I think when it comes to my emotions, I’m an incredibly emotional person, but I control my emotions so much on a… Better than you used to. Right. I think I do a pretty good job.

I mean, the closest people in my life know like when I’ve released some of those emotions. No, I’m thinking of even like anger. yeah. yeah. You control it better than you used to. totally. Okay. Have you changed since being in this relationship? This is not gonna work for this setting. I’ve actually never known my life without this relationship. Yeah, it’s all we’ve ever known. Okay. So that’s a flaw. Okay. Next.

Okay, what’s the riskiest thing you’ve ever done? Is this a deeper question because it doesn’t seem that deep the riskiest thing I’ve ever done. I Don’t know I’m a risk taker. So yeah, I think I do a lot of risky things I think that like I don’t know if it’s Aquarius in general, but we like to go against the grain Yeah, I think a lot of my actions people might like perceive as risky at the time like certain moves. I’d make yeah certain

I just, I think a lot of people… Even like going down the adoption route right away. Even just getting your dog, I remember people talking about like, why would you add that to your life? I’m pretty like, I don’t think it’s risky. Some people could say it’s impulsive, but I think I do highly focus on my gut. And like when things feel right, I dive in right away. Yeah. So it’s hard to say, like you could name any part of my life and I probably took a risk on it. Yeah.

I don’t know. If you want to consider it a risk. I think some people would. I like when they say the risk is worth the reward. I truly only think you get rewards when you face your fears because like your fears are there. But I don’t know. Once you face them, you’re like, they’re not scary. Well, and that’s what every time we’ve both talked about this. Every time we’ve been afraid of something, it’s usually a sign of something really good coming. Yeah. So like it’s because like you care about it. Yeah.

Yeah, I thought was a stupid question. That was a dumb sorry. No, but like it wouldn’t be for everyone because I even think of like my husband he’s more of a like thoughtful thing. Like he dives in with more thought. I just we dive in so quick. We’re like, yeah, something’s on our mind. Like this podcast, for instance, we’re like, okay, we’re gonna start a podcast. Let’s do it. Like we don’t even know how to work a microphone. But we won’t gonna figure it out. In like 10 episodes. Well, we’ll have a podcast. Totally. So I think we’re just more impulsive that way. Yeah.

I don’t think it’s a bad thing. Yeah. Okay. Deeper question. I know the answer to this. I can’t wait to hear you answer for me. What is something embarrassing you do when no one is home? Is it embarrassing to walk around naked? No, but like, but I felt on the stairs naked. I wish I could have caught that on video. I have a video camera in my kitchen. It’s like super good. It’s a great quality video camera.

It catches everything. But for some reason when I was walking around the house naked and I fell down the stairs and like fell hard, like was not she had a huge, not a graceful like I was, I was laying on the ground thinking if Theo had been here, what would I’ve done? Like screamed for him, like call the hospital. I don’t know. but no, I was, I ended up being fine. I can’t believe my hair so bad. My camera didn’t catch it.

But the funny thing is, is I know Katie well. So I saw her the next day and she got a huge as Bruce and I go, Katie, what did you do? And she goes, I fell down my stairs. And he said, are you naked? And she goes, yes. So we scanned her video footage, like trying to find it. I was like, I need to see this. This is gonna be funny. This is gonna be great. And for whatever reason, and her video usually catches every single thing like.

Angels were watching out for her that day and we’re like, no, you don’t get to see this. It’s too terrible It’s just so funny because you make such a big deal of me walking around the house naked But there’s no I live here alone if he was not here. Why wouldn’t I literally have your windows up? Like I just whatever a body is a body I know I agree with that but I’m just like girl like there’s people outside Well granted you’re really good friends with here across the street neighbor. Not that I’m not I just

I don’t think they want to see me naked. I’m sure they don’t want to see me naked either, but I’m just like, she’s like, whatever. Nobody’s seeing me naked. I close the blinds. You’re looking in my windows. I close my blinds. So that’s, I knew it. I know all your answers. Is there anything that you feel is missing from our relationship? Why are we getting these like romantic ones? Is there anything that you feel is missing from our relationship?

I don’t, I mean, our relationship is pretty like very well immersed. I don’t know if there was anything missing from it. I think we try our best to communicate effectively with each other, though it doesn’t always land. I don’t know, what do you think? I feel like, yeah, I don’t know. I mean, I feel like the communication aspect, it’s not missing because we communicate all the time. Yeah. But it’s like,

I wish that we were more aligned with like what we found important. I think maybe priority wise. Hmm, interesting. I don’t know. Like for what, for instance? For like…

Are we gonna get a fight? No, but like for like the podcast, like I’m more like lighthearted about like when we record and Sallie’s more scheduled, but so I was more scheduled with everything. Sallie’s are you planning like Christmas? Yeah, you know, like she has a calendar. Okay, so the thing is, is that Katie was diagnosed with ADHD, and I haven’t been but we’re identical twins. And for whatever reason, I don’t think I’m ADHD. But all my friends will say, Sallie, you’re so hyperactive. But I think at an early age, if I am,

I just learned I needed to schedule everything down to the minute. She controls everything. Yes, like everything has a spot. Like Katie will lose her keys every other day. I have a special place. I put the keys and like Adam knows, put the keys. Like we have a system down in our house about things. And my calendar is like, and it’s silly because it’s not on a computer. It’s like literally handwritten, but it’s like.

if something’s gonna happen that day, it has to be on the calendar. And I’m more like, I can only focus on what’s directly in front of me at the time. Because too much overwhelms you. Too much overwhelms me where I’m like, I can’t, so she’ll call me in the middle of the day and she’ll be like, Katie, what are you doing for 4th of July? And I’ll be like, it’s June. I don’t know. And then she’d be like, well, we need to figure it out. And I’m like, I can’t handle this right now. Yeah. And it like, it stresses the shit out of me. It makes me less stressed to know, but it makes her more stressed to like,

Yeah, which is funny though, because on vacations and stuff, I don’t want to plan. It stresses me out if I’m with someone who has a plan on vacations. Like vacations, that’s my time where I’m like, I want to book the flight, I want to get the Airbnb out of the hotel, and then I just want to explore. I don’t want to plan anything. Yeah, like that. Then we align because then we’re more like me. Yeah, then we align. But on a day to day thing when I like have like four kids lives and to manage and like.

Like then I need like I need to have schedule for sure. So I don’t know if we’ll ever align on that, but like it is. That’s the most stressful thing for me. I remember because I said the other day and I forget who I was talking to. But they were like, Sallie, you probably do have ADHD. You just like. I mean, you always have something going on. Well, you. A lot of people, adults and women that weren’t diagnosed as children learned to mask it or how to deal with it.

So if you do, which is likely because you’re hyperactive for sure. I am a little bit hyper. You’re definitely, you’ve learned to manage it in a much different way than I’ve learned to manage mine. I don’t feel as though you’ve managed it. I think she, like her losing things and stuff is still like, it like irks me. I’m like, why don’t you have a system? It’s like, because I only care about what I care about.

And like, unfortunately, what I care about is like two things in life and then everything else just like I lose or I don’t care. Yeah. We’re very different in that way. Totally. Okay.

All right, so where are these like dropping deeper questions? Why do you put your card back? This is a deeper one what tell me what is it describe a time when you were being defensive and not open -minded Do you do you want to tell me first or do you want me to go first?

I do believe that if you were to come at Sallie accusing her of something, she will always be defensive at first and then come back open -minded. It’s like there’s not a time. This is a personality. But I’m curious, but that’s accusatory stuff. If somebody was like, you do this, then you’d be like, no, I don’t. I’d be like, I don’t know. That’s how I feel. I feel.

But like a specific time, I’m not sure. Because it happens all the time. Same as who I’ve been defensive and not open minded. I’m trying to think about like large events in life. Like I can’t think of one. I’m just thinking like anytime somebody hurts like a loved one, like if it comes to like you or Adam or of course my kids like that day hasn’t come yet. But if somebody’s like saying something about them, that’s like.

not true or hurtful or even like hurting their feelings. Yeah. I will not hear them out on it. That we both do that where we think it’s our Scorpio.

We’re like the most ridiculous combination of signs. yeah, did I the astrologer that had us in we went to a trip and there was an astrologer that like

talked about our three signs were Aries, Moon, Scorpio, rising and Aquarius, sun. And she said, you are the all three of your signs astrologically are the antagonist signs. So like for us to go against the grain or to like, I don’t know, like I was like, damn. I just feel like there’s a lot of fire, air and like nothing else. It’s just intensity. Yeah. And like I can be.

so nice but if somebody’s hurting someone that I love then I’m just because like once you’re in my circle you’re in it it’s not even circle it’s like social injustice too true we’re like if we think something’s unjust like we will or yeah and we will die on a hill there’s so many levels there’s so many yeah somebody also my our mom is still this nuts but if there’s somebody that is saying something and they think that they’re better than someone or that they’re like

going to heaven over someone or something like that. I just don’t have room for it. Yeah. And I will not hear them out. But we also there’s no room for that. We’re all human. If somebody like we can talk shit about each other. I like how this was my question, but I know I’m like this too. No, it’s true. Yeah. I was like, we can talk shit about each other all day. But the moment somebody says something negative about Sallie in front of me or whatever, it could be about anybody in my family or anybody I’m close to. I’m like a pit bull. Like it’s like,

No, you didn’t. Yeah, I can say it, but you can’t say it. I think that’s very real for siblings in general. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. OK. So I don’t even think that was a question. This is a personality trait that we share. Yeah. That’s why when I answered, I answered like it was your personality. Yeah. Yeah. Because it’s true. I’ll be very nice. But like, if you’re not a nice person, you know what? That’s why I love that Mean Girls song that is like. She’s like, if you’re not nice.

or you’re feminine to me,

or I’ll tell you you’re bad. Well, I think there’s a difference. It’s true. Like if you’re not nice to me, then you’re like, you’re not nice. Well, one of my favorite and best friend co -workers, she always says, I’m not a nice person. She says this all the time. Like she isn’t. She says it like in the way like we have to stand up for ourselves a lot of times, right? At work. And she’ll be like, I know I’m not a nice person. I’m like, you are a nice person, but there is a difference between being nice and kind and you are kind.

And I would rather somebody be not nice in a moment where they’re standing their ground, but I know to their core they’re kind and they really care about people and their feelings. There’s a difference, and she is a kind person. But nice to me is something that like – Like play nice. Yeah, exactly.

What is it? What is it? I feel like I’m getting all the intense questions. What is this? If you were guaranteed honest responses to any three questions, who and what would you ask?

I mean, this is really easy because I would definitely ask you because you are always honest with me. But then you don’t have to guarantee honest responses. so I should ask people that don’t get you one get honest responses typically. But if you could get an honest response from them, well, who would you ask? Lord. OK, who would I actually want an honest response? Yeah, I was like.

I don’t want to hear what some people have to say. I don’t really know. Honestly, I always… But with that question, I thought of you and I thought of one of our best friends, Brittany. I know that you guys are always honest with me. So I was like, that’s who I’d ask if I wanted honesty. Do you know what I mean? Right. You’re be shouting out names today. I don’t think… I don’t know. She cares. Brittany, do you even listen to our podcast? Brittany, are we even friends? It’s a three honest questions. Have you listened to the podcast?

If so, what was your favorite episode? Yeah answer honestly Brittany and Give some details on it. You’ve been our friend since five years old. You don’t think you can tell me this I’m just kidding. But you guys are always honest with me. I just like that’s why I think of where’s our next girls trip Yeah, can you plan it? I don’t honestly have questions to be honest. I truly don’t be honest. I don’t have questions. I don’t care

Like I guess I’m at a spot now where I’m like, what would you gain? Your opinion is your opinion. And I think it came to me because we have a biracial mixed family and there’s so many things out there that like people could be upset about. And I just like years ago and definitely like in the last three years, I got to a spot where I’m like, that’s their business, not mine. I don’t care what people think about me. Like, I don’t know if that’s just part of growing. I think it’s just part of getting older. You’re just like, whatever. Like 35, you’re like, yeah, I don’t think I need to ask.

I don’t really care about anybody else’s opinion. If I did, I’d ask you because I know you’d be honest. I’d ask Adam and I’d ask the people that I love the most. If it got to me, I’d ask them why they want an honest response. I would ask a certified professional. true. Like a therapist. Right. I’d pay somebody to tell me the truth because I wouldn’t want to hear it from my close loved ones. It’s true. Okay. What characteristic about… wait.

Did you pull one that you put back in the box? Stop putting it back in the box! Okay, how many more are we gonna do? Out of the box! Out of the box, whoops! Show us that. It was called Out of the Box. It’s a child show. I watched that movie a little bit earlier. How many are we gonna do, Alia? Sorry guys, this is the episode because it’s Mother’s Day and we’re tired. And yeah. What is something you need advice on right now?

I don’t know. I mean, to be honest, I really, really could use advice, which I would ask a certified professional to give me advice on. Wait, she’s asking the pod squad. So you guys study buddies. This is me entrusting the platform that we’ve developed to know that I’m going to not get unsolicited advice. But if I were to be honest, because I’m going to be honest, because I’m an honest human being, I have nothing to lose.

I really want help understanding how people can be together for a lifetime. yeah. My biggest fear in relationships is the longevity of it and like trusting that it can work for a long term. Yeah. And I don’t know if that’s a hard question. I don’t think anybody knows because everybody’s life path is different. Yeah. So that’s something that like,

keeps me up at night, but I don’t know if I’m gonna get the answer. I don’t know. Yeah. It’s like when you’re on your deathbed, you’re like, aha, Ken Day says the answer. I’m like, it just so happens that like I’m on my deathbed with somebody like we made it the whole time. I guess this was real. And like, it was real. You’re like, tell Billy, we made it. That was the answer all along. The answers you can. It’ll be like Scott’s like great grandchild. I’m like, but I just don’t know if I have.

I used to be such a romantic and now like I’ve been like so jaded and I just I don’t know what I believe in and I don’t know if you need to believe in anything. Like I’m at the point now where I’m like if you guys make each other happy every single day then continue doing that for as long as that can continue. This seems like some advice I gave you when you first got divorced. I don’t remember. Do you remember when I said I said every single day I asked myself am I happy with what I’m doing right now?

And then every day I kept eating yes and then that’s why I stayed with Adam. He never gave me a reason to like back out. Because it was always good. True. So that. So you remember this advice now? I think I put it in my brain as like something I told myself. It was like your inner voice. It was like Sallie’s my little shoulder angel. My voice sounded just like me. Slash devil. It sounded like it came from me. It was. It was me. It was your identical twin sister.

Okay. Potentially this soul split in half, but probably not. Okay. How many do you want to get? How many more do we want to do? We’re going to do…

Two more each. Okay, two more. What hurts you the most during a fight argument with your partner? Seeing him sad. I don’t want to see Adam sad either. It’s the saddest thing in the world. He doesn’t deserve sadness. He just does not deserve it. That’s the worst part. Okay. Like I’ll say what I need to say, but then afterward I’m just like, what did I do? Yeah, I don’t like that. He’s literally just the sweetest person in the world. Yeah.

Anybody who knows him knows that. He doesn’t deserve to be hurt. He reminds me of mom. I know. Even though he’s the same like J .F something. I don’t know. Myers -Briggs? Yes, as dad. OK. Which is funny. I bet he’s the same any of grandma’s mom. probably. I bet so. Yeah. We’ll have to do an episode on IndieGrams. Yeah. All right.

Okay, during conflict, do you prefer to talk things out right away or do you prefer to take time and calm down? This is probably changed for you. It has changed for me. I take time now. Yeah, like my that I mean, I’ve gone through so much therapy. You know what? Okay, sorry. no, it’s okay. Well, fucked us up was mom always told us don’t go to bed mad. yeah. So we grew up in a house where they were like, don’t ever go to bed mad. Yeah. And

We are actually the type of humans that should probably just go to bed. Just go to bed. So there’s one type of person that actually is going to ruin their entire life. They actually don’t go to bed man. Like that’s who we are. We will burn our house down. So like it’s so true. We actually do need to go to bed. Yeah, we do. We’re like we will ruin our life. No, in the past I was definitely a

My ex and I were fire and fire. We would come at each other and we would talk things to death or argue things to death. And I remember a therapist telling me, take time. Do not address it in that moment. Walk away and come back when you’re more level -headed. Because in every situation, in my personality type, if I just have a moment to cool down, I will be able to come back with a much more…

Thoughtful clear -headed response that really is saying what I actually mean if I’m to address it right away I’m saying things I don’t even mean. my god And so like now I almost never I never really talk anything through in the moment I’m getting I’ve gotten better over the years with being like I Cannot talk about this right now because I will like say something I don’t mean yeah, because that’s how we are. We’re so like heated Yeah, but I remember just like

especially early on in our dating lives. I mean, I remember having boyfriends where they’d be like, Sallie, it’s three in the morning when we’re not getting anywhere, we need to go to bed. And I’d be like, no, we’re figuring this out now. Honestly, those poor men. I think it was just like me almost trying to like ruin it. Yeah, it’s like self sabotage. You’re like not thinking straight at that point. Totally. So I think for our personality types, we need to actually have a little pause so that we can like.

regather ourselves and like think about truly what we actually want like take away the emotion of it. Yeah, I I still feel like I need sometimes days of being alone. Yeah, sometimes just to collect myself and figure out where I’m at. And like even when you and I check in with myself when Katie and I get an argument like we’ll be like pretty quiet for a couple days together like we’ll talk there and here or whatever. But like you can tell we take space from each other space and like we never

we’re at the level like we don’t need to rehash it usually, but we come back when we’re ready. And then kind of like, I don’t know. Because I remember, and I don’t want to go on a rant about this because this could be forever, but I do remember in my past when I was in very unhealthy relationships, my partner at the time was telling me all of his opinions and his feelings, and then Sallie was also doing the same thing. And when I decided to separate from this person,

I remember being like, I don’t actually know what I really believe because I’m just hearing it from everybody around me. Well, that’s taking on other people’s opinions. And so that’s what you have to work with. That’s when I learned that I self -isolated and I was like, I just need to understand what I even believe. And so now when I’m going through a moment of conflict, if I separate, it’s not…

because like I’m brainstorming how to like break up with you or something. She’s like trying to figure out your own emotions. It’s because I’m just trying to figure out from my perspective what I’m truly even feeling because a lot of my feelings are very overwhelming. Not that other people’s are. It’s just for me, I’m just I’m really bad at collecting them all at once. I think a lot of people need time. Yeah. Yeah, I think a lot of people need time. All right. I think we both have one each, right? Yeah. All right. Let’s see. Is this a deeper question?

This is not really. It’s okay. these are both really good. Okay. So maybe you get two questions in one. Do they go together? Not kind of. Okay. What do you miss most about childhood?

that’s a good question.

The friendships Yeah We had the best friends our childhood friends were just the best yeah, all right, what’s one moment that changed your life Obviously like kids you’re gonna say the kids yeah Like Susie was first so that’s what comes right immediately cuz like yeah the minute you become a parent. my god

Like we’re talking about old friendships and now we’re talking about parents. But it does, it just changes your life the minute you see them. So yeah. I put the cards back. I did the thing I’ve been arguing about. All right.

What movie scared you most in your life? I can tell you right now. Okay, it was a real fear of mine. Okay, the movie When a Stranger Calls. Okay, if you ever have the chance, you have to watch it now. We grew up, we loved horror movies when we grew up. We had this best friend of ours, Rebecca, who watched them with us. my gosh, she loved them. Shout out to her. I love her. She was never afraid of them. She was never, she was so cool.

But we were terrified. We got peer pressured into watching. So we watched all these horror movies, but when a stranger calls, OG when a stranger calls. So there’s a remake like, I don’t know. It’s like a British man. But no, OK, so so there’s a woman that’s babysitting and the kids die. The first I think the first scene is like her going up to check the children and they’re dead. No, no, no. The first scene is she’s getting phone calls.

No, no, no, that’s late. Okay. So check the children. He says, have you checked the children? And he goes, why haven’t you checked the children? Anyways, so it’s terrifying. So so this is a they don’t make movies this fucked up anymore. Okay, so so anyway, so there’s a when a stranger calls back, which is a second film, which is also old movie. And he can one of them he can like pitch his voice.

Throw his voice so he’s in the room with her but like he can like throw his voice Guys this is the most who the fuck wrote this movie So scary so scary thing is they redid these movies like when we were in the point I would watch the remake because I bet it’s not scary. It was not scary. The remake wasn’t scary, but the originals

terrible. And also if you’ve ever been home alone watching children or like we are all the time I stopped answering phones. We never babysat in high school because we were so afraid of this movie. Also this everybody go watch this although it is the – No!

I honestly feel like it’s still just they just they just don’t they don’t make horror movies the same way. There’s another watch it because it’s so what are the old school horror movies with that one Texas chainsaw master? No, the one that’s like house on the left or for this house. That’s not an old No, no, they had an original. the original had a very hardcore scene in it, which was terrible. Okay, so it was all the old school horror movies. I can’t stress it enough.

Like you know scarred like middle school all girls go through a phase where they’re like we want to watch scary movies and be scared But was it all girls or was it just like a certain because like maybe it was was it just I know some girls that really like horror movies But like we really went down that path. We didn’t like them. That’s the thing. I didn’t like them and I Kitty I just burped again I didn’t like them, but Katie when was the last time you ever saw me watch a horror movie?

When do Adam and I ever watch horror movies? No, I don’t watch them anymore either, but they’re not made the same. Those were like psychological fucked up thrills. I haven’t watched a scary movie since probably high school. OK, but we were really into Pretty Little Liars. I did love that. Is that a horror movie? No, but it was just kind of like kind of I feel like our our ability to handle horror extends to Pretty Little Liars. And that’s it. I like mystery.

Yeah. But like if the end game is everyone’s gonna die, but I want to say the ring, it ruined my childhood. everybody. It was a big deal at the time. It was a big deal at the time. It was so scary. For like the longest time I thought I would see like a little girl with long black hair just staring at me when I woke up in the middle. This is the longest episode we’ve ever recorded. Okay, we gotta go. Okay. We love you guys. Bye. Bye.