Mixed Up With Me

Sallie (00:18)
Hello and welcome to this week’s episode of Twin Study After Dark. I’m your host Sally. And I’m your other host Katie. Well Katie, it’s that time of year. I know you’ve been highly anticipating this holiday coming up, but do you know what holiday is next for us on this summer lineup? Fourth of July? Try again! Juneteenth. Try again!

Seriously, yeah, I think this one is before Juneteenth. Okay. I’m not sure wait, okay. I Don’t know it’s Father’s Day Okay, okay, I I know I will I would have remembered would you have I would have remembered because I go to Target so often so I would have seen like the Father’s Day card I wouldn’t have missed it. So I’m trying to think

Okay, so this upcoming weekend is Father’s Day on Sunday. Is that the teens yet? I don’t know. I need to look. I don’t know. I don’t know. When you said Juneteenth, I think Juneteenth is on Wednesday this year. Yeah. Okay. So yes, Father’s Day is next. But this is hilarious that you didn’t even know that because that’s kind of my point. So unfortunately, dads get the holiday where the summer’s out, teachers aren’t talking about it. You know, Mother’s Day is all hyped up in school.

And dance get the summer and I feel like a lot of moms probably don’t forget about it, but I bet you a lot of people do. I just I don’t forget about it. Like I said, I mean, I didn’t remember it right now, but I would still have gotten the gift on time. It just would have been like probably last minute. Not really thinking about it. Yeah, yeah, I mean, but I did. I actually already bought a gift for Theo to give his dad. OK, so that’s already done. That’s because I knew it was on the horizon. It just.

I didn’t think about it. Yeah. yeah. I reminded you a while ago. Yeah, when I got Adam. So the thing about Father’s Day that I think is really funny is there was a comedian about it was in 2023. So a year ago, and I’ll link this to our show notes. But he had a hilarious skit. And basically he said, guess what? What rank Mother’s Day is for holiday celebrated and he said, it’s number two. So first comes Christmas.

Second comes Mother’s Day. So it goes Jesus then mothers. That’s how we celebrate Mother’s Day. That’s funny. Who else is the comedian? Ali. I don’t know. I can’t. I don’t know. I need to. That’s why I said I’ll link it. Yeah, we’ll link it. OK, cool. Thank you for interrupting my story. Sorry. OK, so anyway, Mother’s Day is highly regarded, right? It’s number two. That’s crazy in the United States to celebrate. But not crazy because everybody should celebrate Mother’s Day.

Father’s Day ranked number 20. So like, that’s insane because that means like, I mean, I can’t even name 20 holidays. So there’s holidays that I probably don’t even celebrate that rank higher than Father’s Day. Do you think Father’s Day matters to fathers? You know, do they care? I would think that they do. Yeah. I mean, you shouldn’t… We’ve gotten in a fight. When you were married, remember how Father’s Day was so important?

I would above and beyond for that man, too. He always had the best celebrations. He wanted to know that you were planning something. Yeah. my God. That’s so funny. We did fight about it. Yeah. So I’m just saying, I think Father’s Day. Look, and look, you’re like, it’s not a big deal. But clearly it was to him. Yeah. So Father’s Day ranks number 20th. And I was like, that’s crazy. But I do think that…

There is a lot of people that I know that don’t have relationships with their fathers, like a significant amount. Yes. Like a lot of our friends and family do not have relationships with their fathers. So for whatever reason, I don’t know what, maybe there are a lot of people that don’t celebrate Father’s Day. Yeah. And that makes sense. Yeah, it makes sense to me. But anyway, I was, I was also thinking that there is this kind of

How do I say this? Basically, people have been noticing that millennial dads are doing it differently than dads in the past. They’re doing it better, right? Yeah, so that’s another thing online and I’ll link some of these TikToks too. But it’s been coming up a lot on my feed lately, probably his father’s day is coming up. But basically showing like millennial dads like.

One in particular was like a girl that was videotaping her husband in the pool with their baby. And when she did it, she didn’t mean to capture this but the whole pool was dads with their babies in the pool. Yeah. And she’s like, Wow, millennial dads healing my daddy trauma. And I was just like talking to Adam about it. And I really think not for everybody. I know this is over generalization. But fathering has changed.

There was, you know, like, I feel like we had a few okay examples and good examples. I would say like a couple good examples of dads, dadding in the neighborhood growing up. I can think of our next -door neighbor specifically who was always outside playing basketball with their kids. And they were just really good dads. You could tell, like, they were very involved and invested in their children. But then on the other end, like we said, we knew a lot of people that didn’t have

dads that were present or invested or even around. Most of our friends. Yeah. So now seeing the difference and knowing I work with a lot of young millennial dads and I see like how they talk about their children, them coming in at, you know, nine because they dropped their children off at school before coming in, them leaving for special events for their children. When we grew up, I just didn’t think that was a possibility.

Like from our dad. I didn’t have those expectations that he could always make it to everything because I knew he had to go to work. And now I’m seeing the culture change where dads can shift their schedule around to be present on both ends. And I think that’s so amazing. Yeah. I told the story last Friday, feedback of Adam on the plane with our twin baby girls, like walking them down the aisle and how many women make comments about like, my God, he’s such a good dad. I’m like, like.

What about me type thing? And a lot of the women that made comments were older women. And one in particular was like, there’s just not a lot of men who would do that. And I think that’s changing. It’s so I think it’s absolutely changing. Yeah, she was older. So she’s reflecting on her generation. Yeah, probably like her role to do that, like comfort the baby. But it is changing. And I’m so proud of like,

just the men that are dads nowadays because I’m not saying that all of them are perfect, just like there’s not all the moms in the world aren’t perfect, but there’s a lot of men really showing up and realizing my job is not solely to provide money. And I mean, obviously there’s more stay at home dads now too. I have honestly, my sister, obviously her husband, Adam is a great example of a dad. He’s fantastic. He is very present and he,

He always I mean it really is 50 50 like there’s he really is like I feel like a better dad than I am a mom But he takes it so serious, but I think but I also have a neighbor across the street who is just like the best example of father and I think that sounds creepy like my neighbor Children play together and stuff but like he he is like I can tell just like a really really good dad. He’s a really good dad, but also a really good

A really good husband, a good husband is a good dad. It’s true. I remember you can’t be, I guess you can be one or the other. You can be one or the other. Yeah. Yeah. Because I remember when I was reading something after I got my divorce and I remember, gosh, I can’t remember the exact words, but it was essentially like, marry the man who’s going to be a good father to your children. And so you could have this passionate, heated,

love, right? But if he’s not going to be a good father and you want children one day, then break up with him. Because I’ve, I’ve been in those situations where I just, the love overtakes everything. And then you’re in a situation, you’re like, shit, like they actually would be the worst dad. The minute you introduce men to kids, you can automatically see if the man is just as like needing to be taken care of. my God. For real. Yeah. Like,

thinking you’re spending too much time with them or if like it’s taking away from his life or whatever. And it’s like, I don’t have time to baby you and the kids like these are my kids are like, they require more attention because they’re not getting it because you’re taking care of children, you pick a partner, make sure you pick a man who’s like, actually a man, first of all, and second of all, going to be a good dad. That’s really important. I never thought of that when I was getting married to Adam. Not that thought never crossed my mind, which is insane. Yeah.

But I mean, I lucked out because he truly is. And that’s not even like I said last podcast. I’m not even over exaggerating. Like he is. He’s made to be a dad. He is a good dad. Yeah. But what do you think? What do you think the difference is? What makes the difference in dads now versus dads before? I I don’t know the answer, to be honest. But do you think it’s more if I place? OK, that’s where I was going. If I had to guess it’s that more women are.

holding careers and have jobs to go to. And the cost of childcare is like a second mortgage. So I think that they’re just stepping up. And I also think that they’re getting, I don’t know, when is the right word?

there are jobs that are becoming more flexible so they can too. yeah. You know, and society is now accepting as well. Like it doesn’t have to be the woman at home. A man can be at home and like, I don’t know. I feel like it’s just society shifting. Shifting. I do think there’s a lot more women who are vocal too and men, honestly, like on social media that talk about like these issues because I mean, and I will say even Adam,

like I’ll always like if there’s so I’m actually this is something that bugs me but I pointed it out to Adam and now he always notices and it’s like when I see a woman say we’re at Disney World and she has the baby bag on her back she has a baby on her hip and she’s pushing the stroller and the man’s just walking beside her with a beer have you seen that yeah okay so whenever I see that I’m like my god that poor women woman like

He should be holding something. He should be holding most of it. Let’s be real. Our bodies are like not made to carry. But we get really strong from carrying them. Our upper bodies are like weaker than theirs. I mean, Adam is so skinny, but he is so strong. Like he can carry all the kids in his arms. That is like challenging for me. So anyway, when I first started noticing it, I was just like that.

poor woman. And then now Adam like whenever he notices it, he’s like, that’s not okay. Like he always makes sure like he’s holding the things because yeah, it’s just just I don’t I know that sounds stereotypical. There’s just like no reason. Yeah, you’re like, my god, that guy’s doing nothing. And now I think men are more aware of other men when they’re not stepping up because they know they should be like, okay, so I’m thinking about like baby on your hip.

getting food on a tray, multiple plates, like bottle knocking over on the tray and trying to go pay. That man should better hold the fucking baby or hold the tray. Yeah, like what who or I’m even thinking to like the day is of you nurse all night. And then you stay home with the baby during maternity leave and a man comes home and like, is it to relax? or he says like, he’s exhausted or or?

Right? I mean, God forbid, why isn’t the house clean? I mean, now we’re like, no, but I mean, these are all things that like men have done. And these are all things that I think are changing because men are getting smarter. And I think they’re getting smarter. It’s getting better. Yeah, like, I think a lot of men cringe when they hear stories of that. But I mean, we still have people in our lives that tell stories. And I’m like, is he an equal partner? I’m confused. So, you know, I’m

My ex is going to hate me for bringing this up, but when I was on maternity leave, he would go to work, he’d come home and he would be like, I’ve had such a long day. It was like no, no comparison. He thought that staying home, breastfeeding every three hours, you know, not sleeping because I wasn’t sleeping. Cause you had night duty too. Was easier than getting into a car.

and driving to work and having a lunch break. And I was like, are you, and when I went back to work after maternity leave, you know what I realized? Parenting is harder than work. Like by far, like my easy job is the corporate one. Yeah. But you know what’s funny? All parents I know say that now, men and women, all of them know because I stayed at home for a while and all my friends would be like, my God, that’s.

harder job. And Adam would always say that whenever he came home from work, he was like, Sally, what do you need to do to like feel like a human? There’s he would ask me that. But the funny thing is, is when you think of roles in society, and how our society was made by men, what a secret to keep. my gosh, like that work is the easy part of the day. Like, what a fucking secret to keep. Like women were just like, Okay, I’m lucky I get to stay home.

Hell no. I honestly like the drive to work. The quiet drive is such a luxury. my God. It is such a luxury. It really is. Yeah. Thursdays, like I said, I work at night. I’ve mentioned this a lot and I’ll be on call and I’ll be praying to be called in. Just to like be like, can I go in and like have like an hour to myself? You know? Yeah. That’s funny. But anyway.

I want to just I don’t want this. We’re going off topic. Yeah, we’re going off topic. And my point of this is I’m really excited for men today. And I’m really excited to watch our sons become husbands and fathers. Because I really think you’re we’re starting to see some amazing fathers like, like I said, I think Adam’s a better father than I am mother. Like, it’s like where he shines. And what a disservice to men that we never gave them that opportunity before.

I mean, I don’t know if we didn’t give it to them. I think I mean, like you said, men created this system. Well, OK, but I’m just saying for the men that didn’t create the system and felt like they always had to be traveling for work and doing X, Y and Z, I’m just saying thank you patriarchy. Yeah, but like I’m just saying now changing like that’s really exciting for men who actually want to be fathers. Yeah. yeah. I mean, like.

That’s so exciting for them. Like you get this opportunity that you never had before. What qualities do you think make the best dad? And we had a good dad. So like this is pretty easy, but I am number one to me. Okay. Now I’m like, this is a big statement. If I’m saying number one, number one to me is showing up. If a dad just show up, just show up. That’s number one. That’s a bare minimum. That’s all you have to do is you just have to show up. I wouldn’t say that’s number one. That’s just like, you’re talking about like,

just show up that’s part of being a dad. No, like I’m thinking about when your child has a baseball game or when your child has a dance recital, don’t say you’re gonna come and then not show up. And when I think about our dad who traveled all the time, he went out of his way to show up to every soccer game. And that was huge for us. But I also, I wanna just put it out there. Just showing up is not even.

a credential for moms because they are expected to show up to everything, why does just showing up make a good dad? That should just be expected of the dad. You’re right. Yeah. So I don’t think that that’s a, I, I’m looking for better qualities than that. You know what I mean? What makes a really good dad? Yeah. What makes like a really good dad? I, I, I will say being a really good partner. And even if you’re divorced, being a good partner. Co -parent. Because you’re leading by example, but that’s like what –

makes being a good parent, like lead by example, treat people well, treat your partner well. So then your kids can see that and they treat their future partner as well. Yeah. yeah, I don’t know. I mean, I don’t want to say like, what makes a good dad, because it’s essentially everything that makes a good parent. Yeah, you know, like, like a good listener being there for them, like allowing individuality being open minded. Yeah. What?

You know what we should talk about? Because we’re talking about how fathering is different than mothering and like the different stereotypes about dadbods. So you know like a couple years ago when everyone was into the dadbod? I think people are still into the dadbod. Are they still into that? Okay. Yeah. So dadbods blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Dad bods versus mom bods. Like dad bods, we are like women are so attracted to them. But essentially a dad bod is kind of a belly, not really the most jacked, but strong, I would say. And it really seems like a man who’s kind of let himself go. But it just looks like a regular ass man. Like a regular body. Yeah, it looks like a regular body to me. I honestly feel like it’s just

the dad factor because again, when I started dating once I was single again, being a mom was such a turnoff, like, but you’re a single mom. but you’re a single mom. When my ex started dating again, everybody’s like, he’s a dad. my God. He takes care of his, it’s just a double standard. It’s a double standard, but also like, I can’t knock it cause I think dads are hot.

No, I get it. I totally get it. I was in school to be a teacher. I was like, had a fantasy about like, I’m going to teach kindergarten and there’s going to be a divorcee who comes in and be a dad and we’re gonna fall in love. That’s so creepy and fucking weird. No, it’s not. Yeah, dad is so hot. It is because I don’t know. There was this guy who is not like, by society standards, attractive probably, but he’s just the sweetest man. He’s like bald.

and like, kind of a nerd, but he has two daughters and this is at my work and this is a long time ago. You’re like, but I remember – no, he’s gonna know. No, I was like, need to be careful. But he would always talk about them and I was always like, man, he’s like my goal of like what I want to find on there. No, I seriously, when I used to work when Adam and I were just dating or even before we dated, there’d be all the higher ups at work and they’d all have their families and I’d just be like, could they be hotter? Like there’s –

So there is something about a dad, I think it’s the level of protection and you see that soft side to them as a father. And there’s just so much I mean, women are just attracted to dads. I don’t know why. I mean, I think it must be something. It’s probably the nurturing. I think it’s like the nurturing element. But you know, I don’t know. It’s so weird. But it is totally a double standard because also mom bods don’t really have like,

a stereotype. Yeah, dad, I just remember I when I think of a dad bod, I don’t think of like, in a pack of abs, I think of like, a tummy, like some nice shoulders, like a bigger upper body than smaller body, like holding a beer. Like, like they’re just like drinking beer or like at the golf course, and they just look like they

have not gone to the gym in a little bit, but like they’re probably active in other ways aka playing with their children. Yeah. And that’s how I think of the dad bod. And I think that’s hilarious that women think that’s the hottest bod. And women were like upset if we’re not a size two. Well, it also have you seen like those charts like of all the

This is so bad. We’re talking about bodies in this way, but it’d be like a man with abs or like a dad bod or like a heavy set man and like the dad bod to heavy set is like what most women circle but also that’s like in terms of body type women just like that what they’re attracted also if there was a label where it was like not dad not dad if women knew it was a dad they’d be like, my god, so cute like I don’t know women love dads. I don’t know whenever

goes to the store alone or maybe it’s just us. You’re like thinking like it’s statement. I think this is true because whenever Adam goes to the store and he’ll take the kids for instance, Adam took all four of the kids to go get a birthday present today for a little boy because I had to record which is a lot for kids is a lot but he’ll take like two of the kids all of them I don’t know but he’ll always like I’ll be like when he comes home so how many times did you get hit on today?

He gets noticed by women when he has kids on his head. He has four children with him. Of course, they’re all different colors. Of course, they get so they’re really like, is he stealing? No, but he always gets hit on when he has kids. And I don’t think that’s the same for women either. I think if I have a baby on my hip, generally, I’m not talked to by men. No, I would not. Whereas like women. But also, I will say, what about this?

Maybe more women talk to men with kids because they know they’re safe. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, I definitely like when you was young. crap, whatever. My son’s name is Theo. He was at the park. Yeah, I really try not to hurt or I try hard not to use names. When I was at the park with him when he was little, I’d always talk to the dads at the park because there were a lot of dads at the park and they were they they seemed like totally safe and approachable because they were with their children. Yeah. So I think that.

dads for they do get a lot of attention when they’re but it might just be because they’re young with children and that means they’re safe a good person usually But yeah, it’s just so funny. I was like the dad bod is just I mean it is a thing. I think that Yeah, I don’t know it just sucks for women that were held to such a high I know I wish that men like would be like I love the mom bod like give me a

stomach that’s not like super hard and tight and I love your jiggly thighs. I don’t know. Like, it just seems like but you know why I say that but actually I think dads that are good husbands actually do like that. Yeah, I mean, I just I don’t think it’s easy as easy to like fit mom bods into like one image because there’s so many there’s so many different body types for women. Yeah, yeah. And for moms in general, we should do an episode on that.

like the different types of moms. There’s so many. But anyway, okay, so the last thing I wanted to kind of talk about is we had a really, really good dad, and I have a really good husband dad, a husband dad, husband that’s a dad. So I wanted to like kind of talk about, first of all, our dad and some of the things you remember that he did right as a dad, because we did have a good dad. And unfortunately for him, when we were growing up,

it was society standard for he really did work a lot. He was like the financial provider. And that was his number one role. I think that he even looks back at it now and says because I remember when Adam was getting up every other night with the baby and the baby is and I would get up every other night we split the shifts. And he was like, Sal, that is not how it was when I was little or when I was when I was with you guys, I probably should have been more helpful. Like,

Wow, Adam is he’s a really good partner. And I think they can reflect now and see. Chatt times have changed. Yeah, I would say he’s a really good grandpa. He’s a no. He’s the best. He’s the best grandpa. He was the to me because I didn’t know anything was wrong with it. I never felt like as bad as it sounds. I don’t think I really missed him when he was working. It was the norm. It was super normal. It’s just how life was then and I always knew.

that the way my dad was showing us he loved us was by providing for us financially. And I, I somehow knew that like he told he ingrained that in us like he did or didn’t mom I don’t know. But like, it was to me that was like a form of love was to provide for the family. And the funny thing is, is that I don’t remember I don’t recall our parents having conversations with us telling us that like,

daddy loves you but the way he loves you is by no yeah, I don’t remember them having those conversations. But I do know they were having those conversations with each other because I remember specifically one time I was a big bitch to my mom and I was like you don’t even work or something like that which is insane and karma because I became a stay at home mom. But my dad literally freaked out on me he goes, Sal you never say that your mom has the hardest job in the world. Yeah. And so he knew.

at the time what she what she was going through as a mother. So I know they had these conversations or realizations. But the time was just so different. Yeah. But I want to say the thing dad, I’m very, very thankful for so many things. But we’ve talked about this before was just the quality of time when he was around was out of this world. Yeah, he was always like out on the soccer field, kicking balls with us or he he’d come to all of our games or

It just every minute he was home. I really think he was just playing with us. Yeah, he was definitely the fun parent. Like, you know how there’s always like one that just but it’s because mom was doing the day in and day out stuff that it’s almost like you recognize them less because it’s they’re they’re just the normal part of your life. When he came around, it was like the fun things are like the Disney trips. I know I feel like though I did.

Even though he worked a lot, that was ingrained in me too. And I do appreciate seeing that he was a hard worker. His drive definitely has instilled in us. He is the reason we have the work ethic we have. And also he had a really amazing, he has this really amazing side to him. Somehow he has to have ADHD or something, but he does not.

like wear out like he can go like keep going for long periods of time. So like when his father was sick or when his sister was sick, he was driving back and forth between Wisconsin, Indiana. I mean, regularly as in multiple times a week and like staying up all night and he held. I mean, the amount this man travels to be with people that he loves and takes care of is unreal. Like you wouldn’t.

I bet a normal everyday person wouldn’t even think it’s possible. Yeah, I and I think that’s the difference to between like the time period of my dad missed out on everything because he was working that our dad didn’t really miss out on anything because he and in this reminds me of Adam where like literally they function at such a high level that you’re just like, holy shit, you’re performing 100 % in every area. And dad really did. I mean, I remember I got in a car accident in college. He was there an hour later.

like he would like drove to the location. Right. And like he’s the first one there when the babies were adopted. I mean, he’s always the first and you’re like, where did he come from? You know, plane wise, like he might have a private jet. He’s always there like if someone has a surgery. And it’s just like he and granted when we were little, he was moving up the ladder. So he he probably couldn’t do it as actively as he does now. Now his

schedule is so flexible because he’s made it to a point where he can like leave work, you know, he doesn’t need to be there. But yeah, I think that that was something our dad did amazingly is when things were important. He did not miss them. Well, and he he really he’s a caretaker to like, it’s just our mom’s gone through surgeries, and we’ve seen him take care of her. And that if you want to talk about a good example to set that is like the most beautiful example to set.

is like if you have a partner who’s ill or sick, and they can’t take care of themselves watching him take care of mom was so beautiful. Yeah, it was so beautiful. And again, what I said, like, a good husband is usually like a really good partner. Yeah, because that’s and that’s important for your kids to see. One story I just wanted to share because we should this on a podcast back in the day, but it never aired was one of my favorite memories of our dad.

was when we were in sixth grade, Katie and I tried out for like a select soccer team. So basically, in stuff playing recreation in Wisconsin, you would try out for like a select team. And that team was, you’d go through tryouts, you’d make the team, you’d do travel stuff. And it was just a lot more competitive of a league. And Katie and I tried out for the team that was in our city. And we got the news like a couple…

days later that we didn’t make it and the coach said that they only had room for one so they just were gonna say no to both of us which I don’t even think that’s true. That probably wasn’t even the real reason. Yeah I don’t even know. But you know we just weren’t good enough. Also everybody was friends on everybody’s parents was friends on that team. Yeah there’s some politics involved. It was probably Palau. He was in sixth grade and how good can you really be? But anyway.

I remember we were devastated. We were so sad because all the kids from our school were going on this other team or this team. And you know, we probably cried. I don’t remember. I remember crying a lot. Yeah, this was a big deal. So the next morning we wake up and I just remember walking into the kitchen and my dad had the newspaper out and he was circling all these things and I was like, what are you looking at? He goes,

pace out so I’m looking at other teams and there’s other teams in the area that are doing tryouts. What do you guys think about trying out for another team? And he like was literally circling the newspaper ad. Yeah, and I was like, I don’t know. And I think after like getting denied, we were really, you know, we were like, almost like if we were in sixth grade, we kind of wanted to give up also.

When you’re that young, your world is as small as your school. So to think that there’s other teams outside of your city, and you’d have to go and try out with people you’ve never seen or met before was really, really scary. It was really scary. Yeah. So anyway, my dad, he found a team that was giving tryouts. And they had like two tryouts in the next week, like on a Tuesday and Thursday or whatever. And he drove us there. I think our mom was with us too. I think it was like a big deal. And

This the tryouts again, it was like PTSD because we just didn’t make the team, you know, and these tryouts were Ridiculously harder than the first like literally so intense like this coach and like I just want to give a shout out to Lori She has since passed which she was just an angel. She’s literally the best soccer coach in the world For young women. my god. But anyway, she played college soccer. So the trials were really intense and

we did two days of those tryouts for this other city, which it felt far away, but it truly was like 10 minutes outside our city. And, we ended up making the team. And the funny thing is, is I think the first year they probably didn’t even have enough kids to make cuts. So we just made it because like they didn’t cut anyone. but the reason I look back at it and I look back at the fond memories of it and that experience with our dad is because he.

He let us fail. We experienced failure and then he showed us how to redirect, change our mind and go a different way. And that team became so important to us through our childhood. We were on that team for over 10 years. Well, 6th grade to… No, okay. 18, 19? 19 maybe? Yeah. So like a long time. Yeah.

And I actually ended up playing college soccer in that city. So wow, what a crazy like, yeah, full circle thing, right? We would have never became the soccer players we we did become if we made that first team. Now first team, they didn’t have the coaches we had. You know what I mean? So like, it was honestly one of those moments you look back on as an adult, and you’re like, shit, that all worked out for a reason. But also like,

shout out to my dad because he didn’t know I’m sure he knew as soon as we came to the trial. I’m sure he was like, damn, they’re gonna be good with this. Like this, this coach is really good. It was how when a coach is Yeah, and it was it was so good for us too. Because like I said, it expanded our little world to much larger. And I think that built our confidence. We were always really shy growing up. But it did expand our confidence. And then it allowed us to go to soccer camp, you know, where we could meet new people.

from all over the state, you know, and not be so scared. And then also the original team ended up, what happened? They like fell apart. They fell apart eventually. So a lot of them ended up coming and joining our team in high school. In high school. Yeah. And so like, it was just, you know, I think it was one of the most important lessons we could have learned as children. And I, and I think that when I think about a great parent,

It’s like giving your child those opportunities to learn on their own because our parents could have just said they could have done nothing. They could have, you know, let us quit, which we were going to do. But he, I know he didn’t, he didn’t even force us to do it. He’s just like, would you guys still want to play soccer? This is a way you can do it. And I’m so freaking thankful he did that. Yeah. Because instilling like redirection in people and flexibility, it, it just is so important. And it was also less than in.

sometimes things fall apart because there’s something better for you. It was like our first lesson in that and I do want to thank our father for that. That’s like one of the biggest things I think he’s taught us is like we’re pretty good at redirecting when things go wrong. We can like pick up the pieces and go somewhere else. Yeah. And honestly, shout out to Depeer Select because all that team was like family growing up. Yeah. And that city is still known for soccer. Like it’s really cool to see how that

soccer club has grown because it was just the original days when we started but it’s grown and shout out to Lori because I know she is we love her yeah she’s around her somewhere in spirit but the amount of people she affected positively is just out of this world yeah is there anything else you want to talk to about dad about to say thank you for I don’t know I mean I just

Thank you father. I don’t think you listen to our podcast, but maybe you will because this one’s about fathers. Yeah, I’ll send them I mean, half the time Katie’s bashing types of father I know, but I liked my dad because he’s like my favorite. He made sure you went to art school. He got your job. That’s the other thing is he is very supportive. I don’t I really don’t I could not have asked for a better dad like I think so highly of my dad, like.

I aspire to be like him, honestly. It sounds so ridiculous, but I always felt like if I could be anybody, I’d be my dad. You’re probably more like dad than I am in terms of how much you love work and stuff. But it’s funny because, yeah, I think we’re – I do though. Dad has put up with a lot from me. All my major mistakes. I mean, both of us.

He’s definitely, he’s bailed us out a couple times. I think he can no longer bail me out of anything because I’ve had some big ones. He’ll continue to bail you out. Also, it’s funny because in my parents will they say like, Katie will be the one in charge of like pulling the plug or not pulling the plug if my dad is on like life support someday. And I got my mom.

And they said they drew out of a half. They said that they just gave one of us to each one. I was like, no, mom is smart because she knows I’ll be like, just give it a couple days. Maybe she’ll come back to life and Katie is just going to be like, yank. Okay, we’re done. He’s not because we’re me and dad would never want to be in a position where we’re not ourselves. That’s how I feel. I feel like both of us would die. Like we would rather die than have somebody else take care of us. So

anyway, they were like, we pull it out of a hat. I’m like, No, you just know Katie is gonna say, okay, he’s not gonna be on life support. And I’ll be like, can we give it a week or two? Like, let’s really think about this. And I think mom wanted somebody like that. And dad wanted someone like that. We also like we are running out of time. But I was it’s funny, because our parents are gonna move down here in like a year, year and a half, maybe. Yeah. And I always think like, I don’t.

need friends because I’m just gonna go hang out with mom and dad all day. They expected I’m so excited because like that’s how much I love them. Like I would rather hang out with them than anybody else in the entire world. I mean, aside from maybe Sally, I know it’s it’s just like a warm safe feeling of knowing you’re always gonna be like, we’re like, why do I have my own home? If I could just move back in with mom and dad, I would.

Yeah. So funny. I Okay, so lastly, what I want to do is I do want to give a shout out to Adam, because even though he’s not my own father, he is the father to my children. He is the editor of this podcast. And he is a wonderful sister wife husband Katie. Even though Katie now she has her own partner. She’s not with us as much but for a while there. Adam was like very much.

in the lives of both of us because whenever Katie would have an issue she’d call Adam to come fix it. It would be like, I need this picture hung. It’s so funny because even beforehand you’d be like, I had surgery on my uterus. Can you come pick me up? my God, why did you pick me? I was married then. Okay, so that’s also like, my own husband would never pick me up from places. Like a surgery that’s like very painful. And I remember like one time you like got out of surgery.

Katie hasn’t had a ton of surgeries, but I guess you’ve had a couple. I think that one was just like a biopsy or vomiting in the car with Adam, but that was a biopsy I think. but anyway, I just want to shout out to you, babe, because you truly are just like I said, you’re a better father than I am mother. I think you rock at it. If there was a world where you could stay at home, I know you would because you just genuinely love being a father. Like,

He is manipulating his schedule every single day to be home as much as possible. And when he’s home, he’s 100 % there for the kids. He hasn’t really done one thing that I’m like, you’re gonna scar them. Like I’m gonna be the one that scars our children and Adam is gonna be the one. He’ll never know what does that, yeah. No, he’s the best dad in the world and I love you. And I’m so freaking lucky that I ended up with you as a partner.

And the kids, I’m just so grateful that they get you to look up to. I think our girls are gonna have really high standards when they find a partner. And I think Scott will too. But I also think if Scott goes on to be a father, he will be a good father because he got to see you be a father. So thank you for that. Is this episode going to be released after Father’s Day? No, it’s literally released tomorrow. wait, this is getting released tomorrow? Yes, Katie. Father’s Day is…

this upcoming. I’m Katie just shows up for this shit. I’m the one planning. I’m like, no wonder you said it was last minute. We had we had recorded to be fair, a few episodes like three weeks ago. So I didn’t know how many we had left. No, none. That’s what is already tomorrow. And hopefully there’s I don’t need to edit. my goodness. Anyway, everyone go out there this week. Well, those daddies that are doing a great job.

Rotten they deserve it and We love you guys. We will talk to you. next week. I we will be releasing our first guest interview I am so excited for you guys to hear from this this dad. He’s a dad, too so you’ll you’ll meet up with us again next week and We love you guys. Bye. Bye