Mixed Up With Me

Hello and welcome to Twin Study After Dark. I’m your host Sallie and I’m your other host Katie. Okay. So we’re almost through eclipse season. We had the big eclipse last night or I mean yesterday. We are recording this on a Tuesday and we hope everybody is having a very good Tuesday or week, Monday. This will come out on Monday. So having a very good week. We’re going to start our podcast with how we always start it, going over some of our comments and feedback

So, we actually didn’t get many questions this week, but we did get some comments. So, I’m going to start with a positive one. Somebody just laughed and said, you have the best banter back and forth. You’re so funny. That was nice. I thought it was so nice because people that don’t surround themselves with us a lot, I guess, aren’t used to it. I think it’s a twin thing.

Yeah, like I do think that we’re a little bit more blunt. We’re more blunt. I would say I would each other I wouldn’t be so straightforward with just anybody, you know, yeah, like we treat our friends like really nice, but with each other With each other. We’re a little blunt like I wouldn’t tell my friend like oh my god, you’re being a child You know what I mean? Right? Yeah. Well, so depends on the friend. But yes, I wouldn’t I don’t think I don’t know but I would tell Katie that so

I think that’s just something special that twins have, but that’s why I think it’s really fun to debate with her because we don’t hold back. The next comment, oh, so I got my first negative comment.

Sallie (03:08.186)
That was interesting. I think it’s a good sign. Katie thinks it’s positive. I think it’s positive. I think negative is positive and positive is positive. I think they’re all positive. You think Katie’s like attention is attention. And I also think that it says more about the person than it does about you. So yeah, I welcome the negativity. So I do want to admit to everybody, so this negative comment came in like overnight. I had already had like a pretty stressful day.

Sallie (03:36.998)
I feel really embarrassed to admit this. I erased it. Oh my God. I was like, well, okay, in my- What are you, a child? In my mind, I was like, oh, negativity. I just want love. I want this podcast to be about sharing our embarrassing experiences that we’ve all had in a safe space. I don’t think that this person understood- What was it? What was the comment? Since none of us got to see it. Also-

Well, if you were online on TikTok in the middle of the night, you probably did see it. But the thing is, I didn’t even necessarily disagree with her. That’s the thing. That’s why I was like, honestly, I think I read it wrong, but if I would have waited till morning, I might have just kept him and like, you’re right. You’re right, girl. She said, quote unquote, I think her name was Jess. Thanks Jess for the feedback. You messy. Yeah, we are. I was like, honestly, like…

first like I said I had kind of a bad day and I was just read it and I was like delete I described myself as a mess but then I thought about it in the morning and I was like honestly Jess you’re right like especially I wasn’t she replied to a video of me talking about a past relationship girl if you thought I was messing now you should have seen me 10 years ago.

for sure. So she wasn’t wrong. Like I agree. The mess has calmed down. But like it still exists. And the thing is, I want to promote that like this is being a human being. You know, like this is the fun of being a human being. Don’t take life too seriously. Honestly, because then you’ll be miserable. So my heart honestly just goes out to her. I’m sorry I deleted your comment. Sally will accept it next time. She’s gonna leave the comments up. I’ve asked her to leave the comments up. Because I think it’s…

And honestly, like I said, all feedback is positive feedback because it’s more conversation. Yeah. But she just created two minutes worth of conversation. There you go. Yeah. And I do agree with you, Jess. And also, now we’re going to be friends. No, she’s like, no way, Jose. So anyway, okay, I used to be a teacher, so I have lots of weird speak. But anyway, that was one of the comments we got. And then Katie was like, well, I think that’s a good sign. I think it’s great. Yeah. Okay. So we’re moving on to this mess.

Sallie (05:54.95)
My god, I would have told them about the lamp. I got you. Okay. I wish I could show you but I can’t move my camera Can you move the lamp? This is ridiculous, it’s really heavy it is heavy and it’s for I don’t want to diss it because I think no It’s an antique lamp it’s I also I have a cold so I’m sorry went to her

Whatever it was hotel that was getting rid of furniture. It’s not my hotel. It was a hotel in the area. Yeah, so Again, yes, you may okay. So my couch that we are currently sitting on is from my living room It’s not like the couch of our living room. It’s like a loveseat But my kids really want it back. So I’ve been telling them. Okay, mommy’s gonna find new furniture for the podcast. Well

I went to a hotel that was having a garage sale on Saturday. And when we say hotel, we mean like inn. It wasn’t inn. It was actually only an 1800s inn. So it was a four bedroom inn in a town near us that is known to be very haunted. But the inn is so cute. And she said that it was definitely built in the 1800s, but there was a fire or a flood. I forget. They lost the records.

So the newest records say I think it was built in like 1910, but like it probably is even older. Anyway, I went into the inn and they really – it’s gorgeous. They try to like uphold just the like look of the times. Anyway, I saw the lamp and I thought that needs to be a podcast lamp. But you’re never going to see it. So now it’s just sitting in my house and I’m pretty sure it may – I’m afraid to say anything around it. Like this is for real for me. So…

Because I’m afraid there’s an entity connected to it. But like have you got any signs? Yes. So this is not… This is ridiculous. I don’t care. I feel it’s positive. Although I will say before we started, we tried to turn it on and it sparked. Okay, I tried to turn it on and it sparked and the light fizzled out. Okay, so that was… We just need a new light bulb. Sure. Also, everything in this room was unplugged when we opened the door. Oh, is that…

Sallie (08:13.162)
mad at me when I asked? Yes! Okay, because this lamp, I think so I don’t want to say it out loud. I do not want to say it out loud. No, okay, listen. Okay, first of all, when I came in today, I we lock this room because we have five kids between us and we’re like, we don’t want them touching things. So when I came in, I go, Katie, why is everything in a different place? It’s all unplugged. And she got mad at me. I go, you were the last one in there. And I was like, I didn’t.

unplug anything though and she like literally got mad at me and I was like what the heck? Okay so, okay so it’s because she’s afraid of the lamp. I am afraid of this lamp. I want it out of my house but I don’t want to say that because I don’t want to be a hater at me. So I- It just wants to be acknowledged. So my- Okay, I have to start from last night. How many nights has the lamp been with you now? Saturday, Sunday, Monday. Three. Okay.

Did you notice anything the first time? A very bizarre coincidence because my son has slept in his own bed for three nights. And that’s not typical. That’s not typical. However, I’ve been laying down with him until he falls asleep and more than likely all the nights I’ve fallen asleep with him and then moved after in the middle of the night to my own bed. Anyways, last night I have felt a weird presence in the home.

And it feels like, and I don’t know if this is fear-based because I’m making stuff up in my head, I’ve always been a very in tune child with entities or just… Entity. Or fear-based. I’ve always been very fear-based when it comes to… Well, make something an entity rather than just a spirit. Because I think there’s different kinds of spirits. Is entity a different, like a positive? I think they’re one and the same.

Okay, Entity just seems so like grandiose, like it’s just a spirit probably. I mean, I think they’re the same thing. Okay, Entity makes us all scary. Entity, spirit, ghost, whatever the heck you want to call it. Something not of this visual realm. Although they can be visual. Although they can and I would freak the shit out if I saw something. So okay. So last night I laid down with my son. And keep in mind…

Sallie (10:36.462)
I live alone with my son. So I’m the protector here and he’s like startled. He lays down. At what time? I don’t know, Sally. Like in the middle of the night he just woke up startled? No, we’re laying down to go to bed and it’s like probably 930 because we went to bed late. Judgment, everybody. What a bad mom. All the moms sucks. No, okay. It doesn’t matter. It’s the eclipse. Yeah. Okay. So we lay down.

He’s like startled out of, he’s like, what’s that shadow? What’s that shadow? And I was like, what? What shadow? He’s like in the hallway over there. He is pointing at- Did you tell him about the lamp? No. Okay. No. He’s pointing outside of his doorway to the hallway, which is right next to this room where the lamp is. And I’m like-

Do not say this right now because I don’t want to have to look up because I’m so scared. He’s like grabbing me and like, Mom, what is that? What is that? And I was like, what does it look like? And I’m like, you didn’t look still? No. Katie. I was so scared. I was like, so you were just having him look and then you had your head in a pillow? I was like, what? No, I had my eyes closed. And I was like, oh my God. I was like.

What does it look like? And he’s like, what if it was a human being? Sally, I do not know because this is the problem with being a single parent. So then if there was someone in your hallway, did you want to have your bedroom? I have a security system. I have to. Was it on? Stop it, Sally. Okay. I have a security system.

I have two large dogs that would have barked if somebody came into the house. True, that’s true. Also, I have a baby gate at the top of the stairs that is impossible for me to get through, so I don’t know how somebody coming in the house could get through it without me hearing them. Yeah, okay, true. That’s true. Okay. So he startled. I finally opened my eyes because he’s shaking me and this is now I’m concerned. So I’m like, turn on my phone flashlight first before to like shine it over there. And I’m like, oh, I think it’s just…

Sallie (12:45.726)
It’s just the cat. I said it was Enid. I blamed Enid. And he’s like, what? And then so I walk out into the hallway. Enid is not over on this side of the hallway. Enid is down the hallway in the laundry room. So there’s no way Enid in the laundry room could have been casting a shadow over here. So then I was like, what if we just close the door? Okay, so we closed the door and then…

Enid is upset with us because we closed the door. So he’s at the door and I’m terrified to open the door because I think I’m going to see a little ghost girl. A tatch to a lamp. That’s probably an adult. So then, but I got up, I let Enid in, and then we’re all laying in bed together. Anyways, then there’s noises that my son is hearing that I do not hear. And he goes, what are those noises? And I was like, what do they sound like?

And he’s like, I don’t know, I just hear something. And I was like, why is this happening to me? I cannot handle this right now. So she’s so over dramatic. I know it’s terrifying. I’m so afraid of this. Think how your little boy own no seriously.

I agree. That’s why we sleep together. And I honestly, the whole time I was laying next to him, I was like, what would I have done if I didn’t have him with me? I would have been… He was not. So, just so you know. You’ll feel better. Katie doesn’t have him tonight. So, we’ll get a really good story out there tonight. So finally, okay, so I open the door. I don’t see anything again. I don’t hear the noises that my son is hearing.

But there was a light because the cat had come out of the laundry room door. He did leave it cracked open more than it was. So I could see there was a light coming from the laundry room. We have like a water fountain bowl for him that has a light in it. So I could see that light was definitely visible, but that wasn’t the light. That wasn’t the shadow that wasn’t causing the shadow before. Okay. So finally we just go to bed, hugging each other because I don’t want to and under covers both of us. We’re both terrified.

Sallie (14:55.034)
But the whole time I’m like, I really want to Google spirits connected to lamps. Because if I was a spirit, the last thing I would want to connect to would be a fucking lamp. And I’m like, what is the reality behind this? Like nobody’s really attached to this lamp. I don’t know. I mean, did you find anything online? No, because I did want to open my phone while he was sleeping. Oh. So, but anyways, I feel like I was in the bargaining phase of like figuring out what to do with this.

So, but in the middle of the night, I did move back to my room and because I wanted to spread out and actually sleep well, but I was so afraid, I slept with my bathroom light on. Oh, okay. Well, that’s normal. No, I honestly though, so he just said he saw a shadow and he thought he heard noises. Yeah. Okay. He saw the shadow twice. Okay. Did you ask what the shadow felt like? Like a boy or a girl or an adult? No, Sally.

I was so scared. I did not want to hear what that shadow looked like. Okay, well then we’re at square one here. Yeah. So I just want to remind you though, if there is a spirit attached to your lamp, you can probably just say, Hi, please don’t come in this room. We don’t want to be scared. And maybe that’s why they were in the hallway. Maybe they were respecting your boundaries.

Sallie (16:12.37)
I don’t want to look out my door and see anything either. Okay, so I have a story similar, but it didn’t scare me the way it scared Katie. I don’t think I’m that afraid of ghosts, but when I was in that scenario, when my child was seeing stuff, I was like, I can’t handle this right now. It terrified me. Okay, so I want to say that I work in a very old location. So when I started, my boss asked me.

Are you comfortable with spirits coming home with you? And I honestly was like really scared, but I’ve had weird things happen at my house too. So one night, so first of all, my middle child, Scott, he is afraid. He’s like a scared, he’s not scaredy cat, but like we have monster spray, we have a salt lamp, we have a dream catcher. We have all the things for him to go to bed and not have, not be scared of the monsters. He says that they’re monsters. Okay.

Anyway, he’s just at that age. He’s four and he gets scared of things. He also, I think, has night terrors. Our oldest daughter, I’m thinking he’s laughing because this is so Scott. Our oldest daughter doesn’t flinch a wink, doesn’t even pay anything of mind. Nothing scares her. She’s so brave. Honestly, she is gonna love scary things for Halloween. It’s her favorite thing. I could see her getting into, we live around Universal Halloween Horror Nights. This will be her jam.

So anything nothing scares her and One night went after I did my monster spray. I was tucking my son into bed and my daughter was with me and my son says Mommy, I feel really scared. Can you do the monster spray? So I’m doing the monster spray or whatever Suzy’s with me and she just starts staring out into the hallway and she’s like in a blank stare for like 10 seconds Well, I’m like putting him down and I didn’t say anything then because he’s terrified of this kind of stuff

But when I walked her out of our room, or his room, and into her room to put her down, I was like, hey baby, what were you looking at? I saw you staring. And she goes, oh, there was a boy and a girl. And I was like, hmm, okay, where were they? And she’s like, in the hallway. They were just saying hello. And I was like, oh, were they nice? And she’s like, yeah, they were nice. And I was like, how old were they? And she’s like, my age, and she’s five. And I was like, okay.

Sallie (18:40.494)
I was like, do they have brown skin or do they have white skin? Because she has brown skin. And she goes, hmm, they looked really, really white. And I was like, OK. She explained what the girl was wearing. She explained what the boy was wearing. And she even threw out the name Virginia. Interesting. For the girl. And I will say, my kids, we just started talking to them because we’ve had some of these experiences in our house about like spirits and stuff.

Before that, I was not talking to them about this stuff. Honestly, I just started because Suzy’s been seeing things. So anyway, she was not scared at all. They didn’t enter the bedroom. They were in the hallway. But she was like, no, they’re really friendly and nice. So anyway, I put her down and I was just kinda like, oh, okay, because I didn’t feel anything. I didn’t feel like any spirit was around us or anything. I go to bed that night.

And I was fine, nothing happened. A couple nights later, my kids take baths in my bathtub because it’s bigger and it’s attached to my room. Well, they keep dolls in there and they keep like ones that like sing songs. Like we have specifically an Ariel doll who sings like a whole new world. And she even like says like, hi, my name’s Ariel. I think she says like, hi friend. It’s so funny. Also creepy to hear in the middle of the night. So it got to be like three o’clock in the morning one night.

And all of a sudden, Ariel went off and she was like, hi friend, like blah, blah. If anyone has this doll, you know exactly what she says, but it is creepy and she even says a goodbye like a minute later. But anyway, she went off once and then me and my husband are pretty light sleepers and we both woke up and we’re like, that’s weird, like no one’s in the bathroom. And then she went off like four more times. So then finally Adam turns to me and he’s like, Sally, what the heck? So he takes the doll downstairs.

and he just puts her downstairs in the living room, well, we have three dogs and they’re just going crazy because it keeps going off. Finally, my husband turns off the battery or takes out the batteries. Anyway, now she’s restored. She’s like, has the batteries back in her and she, whatever, but she hasn’t gone off like that like at all anymore. Are they new batteries? I think he put the exact same ones back in. Cause I, that would make a difference. So no, I think he like literally took them out and put them back in.

Sallie (21:04.47)
But the thing is, in my mind, I was just like, did this little ghost friend, did they learn to press her button or make her speak or something? Anyway, that was the only sign that I was like, maybe we do have something here. But my daughter constantly, I mean, probably once a week, one of my kids say they see a ghost. Right. Which honestly, I have done my research and it’s like, you’re supposed to validate them. Right, because don’t they say kids can see and connect?

Mortis spirit till the age of eight, right? I don’t know what age though. I think it’s till the age of eight. Sorry guys, I have a cold. But Sally and I, if you can’t tell already, we’re big believers in ghosts. And we have a lot more stories that we just can’t share. But if you’d like to hear them one day, come hang out with us. Yeah. But we’ve spent a lot of this podcast talking about this.

this I guess. I know it’s not really a debate. Sorry. It’s not really a study. It’s not a study but it is just something. Is that all that happens?

I mean, Katie, I think next time you just need to be like, you need to ask them questions. Like, be like, what do you see? Like, I think it’s so hard though, because I, like I said, it’s just a little more scary when you’re the only adult in the house. We’re going to sage her house after this. Yeah, absolutely. We’re going to go sage that house and the lamp can be… The lamp can be… The spirit can move on. Saged as well. It’s a beautiful lamp. So maybe that’s why the spirit attached to it.

Yeah, you can have it you can take it to your house. It doesn’t match my facade. It doesn’t facade is exterior. Oh It doesn’t match my what’s the what’s the interior word? Interior decor my decor I think that you should take it with you and I also Does not match my interior decor. It does I’m gonna put it in mom and dad’s new house I think that’s a phenomenal suggestion. Yeah

Sallie (23:08.05)
Only you do have to wonder, like maybe they were giving it away for a reason. I said that. When you went there, I said, what do you think they’re giving away? The haunted kind. I can actually contact her and ask. I’ll contact her and say like, did you feel anything with this lamp? Well now that we have about… She even said when I bought it for her, I was like, oh my gosh, that’s such a pretty lamp. How much is it? And she goes, well, one of my friends said you could sell these for like $200.

but I’ll give it to you for 10.” And she’s like, so if you don’t like it, she’s like, you can just put it on eBay. Oh my gosh, that is the weirdest thing to say you can sell it for that much, but she’s not selling it for that much. No, she’s a nice lady. 10 dollars. Dalla Bill. Hey, what was our actual debate gonna be because we have about seven minutes. Okay, let’s see. Well, it was just that.

It was the Roman Empire thing. Oh, got it. We switched up our topic of discussion because… I guess we could still debate it. I guess we could still debate it, but really quick. Yeah, we can’t get into it too greatly. Because Katie is proving her point. So basically, back a year ago, there was a TikTok that went out and it was women asking men how often do you think about the Roman Empire? And men would all say, like, once a week.

once a month, every day, like all these crazy answers that you were just like, that’s insane. Like I’ve never really thought about it. Or I like think about it like maybe when I’m learning about it, you know? Yeah, when I’m watching a movie. Or when I’m in Rome. Yeah. But never again. Anyway, there was another TikTok that followed up that Katie found. That we unfortunately can’t credit the person. Because we don’t remember who it was. But anyway, she said a woman’s Roman Empire is that best friend breakup.

that you went through in your lifetime. Like that’s something that women think about constantly or if not constantly, at least, sorry. All the time. I’m just like burping in the mic. You are a mess. I’m a mess. She’s a mess. Jess was right. How did she say it? You messy. Yeah. You messy. Okay, so anyway, we’re not gonna get deep into it because we only have five minutes. And yeah, and Katie’s still recovering from hers. But basically she said yes, she agrees. She thinks that

Sallie (25:33.146)
she thinks about. I think about friendship breakups all the time. Yeah. Like it really saddens her still. And I unfortunately, I don’t know if I necessarily agree, but I, because I’ve never been through a breakup with a friend that was like talked about, like that you sat down and did a break up formal breakup. Yeah. Like I’ve grown apart from people, but I just feel like, and 100% like there’s some in specific born in specific that does make me sad.

But at the same time as I’ve gotten older, I’ve just like understood that’s just part of life because like we both went our different ways. Like we both, you know, don’t live near each other, stuff like that. For sure. So I haven’t had like a breakup, but I would say like I probably think about it like a couple of times a year, so she might not be wrong. Yeah. I think that friendship breakups are so much… Okay. I don’t know if this is accurate, but I think they’re harder than romantic breakups to be honest. Oh no, I agree. Yeah. Because when you get into a romantic relationship, you…

This sounds so pessimistic. Oh God, don’t say it. There is an expectation that it might end, right? Like it’s a romantic partnership. You think like maybe we’ll work out, maybe we won’t. Yeah. When you get into a friendship, you’re like, this is gonna work out. Yeah. You never think about the maybe of it ending. That’s true. I didn’t think about that. Yeah. I think that also with men, when I date men or whoever you’re dating,

Sometimes you’ll get to a point where you can look at a red flag and be like, okay, it needs to end. With friends, I feel like you give them a lot more flags. Grace. Yeah, and they give you a lot of grace too because a lot of times I find that I just kind of dismiss it with, oh, that’s just how they are, or stuff like that. So oh, you know what? To keep it light and not talk about the breakup part of it, I thought this was really cool.

In the show, Working Moms, highly advise everybody watch it. It’s so funny. It’s so good. Yeah. But there’s a friendship where they just realize they’re not growing together and they’re not making each other better people. Yeah, they’re not making good choices with each other. So they take a pause on their friendship. And I’ve done that too. And I think that’s so mature. Like, even though you can love somebody and respect them, and they can still mean the world to you. But if you’re…

Sallie (27:58.73)
realizing like whenever we hang out, we just condone each other’s bad behavior and we’re not growing, I think it’s totally acceptable to be like, we need to take a step back. I think that’s honestly a really loving thing to do because that’s saying like, we want this to work out eventually or also when you’re in a friendship and all of a sudden you guys are just triggering each other constantly or it’s like really one sided. I feel like it’s easy sometimes to be like, okay, this is done, like I don’t like this.

or it’s easy to not say anything. I think a really respectful thing to come to is to say, hey, we’re not in a good place together right now, let’s take a little pause. Because honestly, I was thinking about this too, because I was talking to Adam about this topic, and I was thinking, my husband, and I was just like- Which you mention every episode. Yes, so he’s gonna come on this show one day. He’s a man of few words. So.

He’ll be a great guest. We’ll just talk and he’ll just have him in the middle and all he’ll do is like, be like, yeah. Yeah. Okay. So there’s no point in inviting him. But so anyway, I was saying honestly for everybody’s growth as a human being, as an individual in a partnership someday, I honestly respect people more that like go through those friendship bracelets.

Breakups. Go through those friendship bracelets. I was thinking Taylor Swift, I guess. Breakups, because that means you’re still evolving as an individual. It’s kind of alarming when people keep the same people around them all the time. Because are you really growing to your fullest potential? That’s what I’m like, that’s actually- I saw, and I think it was like, again, I can’t call it the right podcast, but it might have been the Mean Girls podcast or something.

They pose that question. They’re like, we know this is frowned upon to say, but if you’ve had the same friends for so long, and obviously there are friends that you have that are lifetime friends, but if it’s like the same group of friends and there’s never any new people coming in or people leaving, whatever, there’s no mixing up the situation, are you growing? Yeah, because- I don’t know. I don’t want to say something like-

Sallie (30:18.914)
to be negative, but I do think that it’s important to meet new people and to build new friendships. I will say like every friendship, quote unquote, breakup, I’ve never had a friendship breakup because like I still contact people, but like every friendship that has like kind of runs course or like really gotten less of a like, like we communicate less, I guess. You know what I mean? I don’t want to say falling out. It’s just like, it kind of like fizzled a little bit.

I will say I look at their life and I look at my life and I’m so proud of where they’ve gotten to and I can appreciate that we both went our separate ways. And I want to say even with breakups, I know you’ve had like pretty like severe breakups with friends. You can look at them and you say, oh my God, I’m so happy for them now. Yeah. The love is still there. The love is there. It’s like we just weren’t good for each other. Exactly. And like you see them just thrive now or you’re just thriving now and I feel like…

That’s the one thing like friendship breakups are different than like lover breakups in that way because I think like when it’s your lover and you see them thriving like eventually get to a place where you’re like, oh, thank God they’re doing great. But at first you’re like, oh my God, his girlfriend is prettier than me or you know, like you’re like mad about it. But like with friendship, I feel like I’m always happy for them. I do think though it never stops hurting though, because you always have the fond memories, you know? Well, because you get like, what’s the word?

nostalgic. Yeah. And it’s like bittersweet. It’s literally bittersweet. But it’s just like part of maturing that you understand that everybody’s… I think that’s the thing is as you get older you understand how everybody has different stuff going on in their life and you don’t hold them to a standard maybe you did when you were younger. Everybody’s like more accepting. We’re more so low maintenance friends now. It’s like when we see each other, we see each other. But when you’re younger you have all these…

In the 20s. Expectations. And I wish as a young person, I could have just looked at it like, she’s going through a lot right now and I’m going through stuff that’s entirely different. Yeah. And we’re not going to see eye to eye and we’re not making each other better people. Yeah. You know? Exactly. It’s easier to do now. It’s easier. I will say, I think during your 20s, like during those years that everyone’s getting married and stuff. I honestly, that was…

Sallie (32:41.342)
That was the time. Even one, like I said, I’ve never technically had like a breakup, but we’ve definitely fallen out. I don’t know. I don’t know how to say that. How do you say that? I think it’s just you’ve moved on with your lives. Yeah. And you have like new friends and all that stuff. Yeah. But during my 20s, I really was sad about it. Like I almost, yeah, like you mourn it almost. Like you’re like, I wish it was that way still. But now in my 30s, 35, we’re 35. I can say like…

You know that was really hard, but honestly, I’m so happy we did go our separate ways at the same time. Do you know what I mean? Because that was really good for us individually. But during our 20s, I feel like Bridesmaids, the movie does a perfect job of showing this character of like when Kristen Wiig is like, oh, Helen, like you’re jealous that they’re moving on. Yeah, with the new friends. Totally. I think that’s why that movie was so well received because every single- So relatable.

friend group or friendship goes through that where all of a sudden you’re realizing like, oh my God, we are going our separate ways a little bit. Some new people are coming in. And like I will say during your 20s, I probably thought about that friendship more than I do now. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like when you don’t have a family yet. Well, and that’s the thing is even with my major friend breakup I had, we’ve since communicated

Oh, your family’s beautiful or that is like a breakup, you know? Yeah. So and I think that it is it’s just like it’s all love, you know, because it was love. It was just we were not making each other better people at that time. And you and I honestly think it’s a mature step to say like, we need to separate for a little bit or separate. And that’s they say like, relationships are like a reason a season or a lifetime. And I’ve had friendships that honestly like

fizzle out and I don’t hear from people for years. And then they come back and they’re like, my best friend. You know what I mean? It’s like, that’s kind of the cool thing about life is that even though somebody is out of your life for a little bit, sometimes people come back in and that’s really cool. Oh, one of our best friends. Yeah. I’m not gonna go, I’m not gonna say too much because again, we ran out of time basically, but remember when our best friend, she knows exactly who she is, ditched us because she joined the dance team. Oh my Lord.

Sallie (35:06.398)
But she did come back. She’s going all the way back to high school. I’m just, this is a joke. She knows this is a joke, but I’m just saying, that’s an example of somebody. She came back around, we’re best friends. Lordy. Okay, well, that is- You know, you know. And it really, yeah, it was hurtful back in the day, but that was so long ago. That’s the only one we allowed back in. And you know-

I think of I know but like some people they come back in your life when you have kids or like, you know when you’re back in Life. Yeah. That’s all I could think of. Okay. So anyway, we love you by the way We’re so lucky because twins last a lifetime. Oh my gosh, that would be so sad if it didn’t What like if our relationship wasn’t a lifetime like all of a sudden like I’m like, I’m cutting you You’re off we came into this world together. We gotta leave together. You’re gonna leave together

Yeah, we’re gonna be those old people in like wheelchairs holding hands like That would be great that’ll be so I can’t wait oh my god, I’m gonna I just I hope I go crazy before you do I Want to go crazy first? No, I can’t I’m already I’ve already lost my memory. So I think I will go crazy

God, I think I will. Also because I have this ghost person in my house. I’m gonna go crazy. All my children will take care of KK when she’s old. Or… They’ll want to because she spoils them rotten right now. They’ll be like, I’ll live with KK and I’ll change her diapers. Oh my God. So anyway, okay, so you did agree that our Roman Empire, girls’ Roman Empire is the friendship breakup. I believe that to be true for myself.

Yeah, I can’t think of anything else I like think about regular about like once in a while like I’d say like a couple months a couple months a year

Sallie (36:58.078)
How often do you think about it? Probably like once every six months. Oh, that’s not that much. This was a relationship that was over 10 years ago. Oh. Okay. So yeah, so that’s our Roman Empire. I guess we both kind of agree. I don’t know what else would be a woman’s Roman Empire. Maybe not over 10. I mean, Taylor Swift.

People think about her all the time. Yeah, I think about her all the time. Taylor Swift is on my mind on a regular basis. I know, all the time. Multiple times a day. I mean, I would say that might be my Roman Empire. Yeah, I mean. And I’m not even like a fan how you are. But I mean, I’m constantly just in awe of her, so. But also I’m getting like, she’s online a lot, so like we just are reminded of her a lot. Okay, lastly, we’re just gonna end. Do you have any advice for anybody going through a friendship breakup? Or…

Do you have any ways of like, or should we go more along the route of like, do you have signals people can look for to know that it’s time to end it? No, because you’ll know. You’ll just know. If it’s like draining you. Yeah, if you’re mentally drained whenever you hang out with them, if your conversations aren’t really conversations anymore. Or if you can’t like speak freely about your like beliefs. Yeah, exactly.

I think you’ll just know and it’s okay to take a step back. I think I wouldn’t fight it. I think it’s very mature to take a step back. I’ve had to do that recently, taking steps back because you have to protect your space, protect your energy and not everybody’s going to be in the same energy field as you because we’re all going through different things and they’ll come back around or you’ll come back around. But I think you just need to.

let it be and be mature as possible about it. And if you have a friend and maybe you or them is going through something, you can just say, I’m not in the right space for our relationship right now. So if they’re like impacting you negatively. Or you’re impacting them negatively. I’ve been in depression before and I didn’t want to rub off on people.

Sallie (39:20.038)
Yeah, but at the same time, like friends want to be there. Right. I understand that perspective as well. But that’s a different, that’s totally different. That’s a different, unhealthy friendship. Yeah, yeah. But I do think that the respect you have for a person where you can just say that like, I’m not in the space to be able to handle this right now, or I don’t think we’re getting anywhere. Like right now, it’s not positive. I think just be mature and have that conversation. I do not advise not having the conversation. That’s for sure. Because then they’re like,

What the heck happened? Okay, so I will say, because I haven’t experienced a sit down breakup, but I will say when things seem to fizzle out and if you’re somebody that’s racking your brain being like, did I do something wrong? I don’t know what happened. Give yourself, I guess I will say an advice from what helped me when I had to come to terms with this friendship isn’t the same as it used to be. First of all, that’s okay. Like,

That doesn’t mean it’s bad just because it’s different. So first of all, recognize that. Second of all, you might have done nothing wrong. Like literally life- It probably has nothing to do with you. Life goes on. Yeah, that’s my third point. Yeah. Third of all, this is not because of you. Like it’s, I mean, it might be honestly, but if somebody is like growing apart from you, don’t blame yourself for it. This is life, honestly. Like this happens to everybody. It’s part of life. It’s part of evolving. And I would argue to say-

it’s a good sign you are evolving. Honestly. Yeah. And I want to just reiterate, it has nothing to do with you because even if that person doesn’t like something about you or they’re like, she’s too… Oh, I get this all the time. She’s too much or whatever. As long as you know yourself, and we’re going back to the know yourself and love yourself, as long as you know yourself and love yourself and you would not have acted differently because you’re being true to who you are, then it really is…

You know like you have done anything differently you wouldn’t have done anything differently So just acceptance you know like wholehearted acceptance of what is and what will be yeah? And you guys are gonna grow better when you’re not like surrounded by people that are triggering you know so I Want to leave it there today? I hope that we didn’t tangent too much honestly we talked about it for like an hour before this podcast and Katie was still like

Sallie (41:44.266)
going down. It’s heartbreaking. It’s a heartbreaking conversation and it’s funny because when you break up with like a significant other, you don’t carry those emotions for the rest of your life. I could laugh about all of my exes, but like, but friendship breakups are not funny. Yeah, like the bandaid. It’s nothing. The wound is not healed. Yeah. It’s crazy. Interesting.

Okay, so we’re gonna close up our twin study today. Please rate, review, and subscribe. We love you guys. Feel free to send in suggestions on things to talk about. We love you guys. All right, bye. Bye.